Things i HAVE to do this week. Don’t be a procrastinating Malaysian, Joyce. Just fucking do it. ( i have a tendency to pretend i’m talking to myself as if to another person)
1. Rewrite your cv…. again. Perfection perfection perfection. 2. Compile your portfolio properly. I don’t care if the fucking hard drive is screwing up. 3. Turn your Little Pony goth. It won’t like being pink forever. Ew. Pink is so over. 4. Clean your room. It became a disaster area again. Even Aaron can’t believe his girlfriend is such a slob. One day, you’re going to slip on that pvc, trip on the blade, cut yourself, fall on the shelf, and collapse on the pile of expensive Shriro papers next to the bed. When you’re drunk. I know you haven’t been getting drunk lately. But damn girl how long will thaT last…. 5. Sew Mary’s clothes. Yea, she’s such a bitch to pass you a whole bagful of clothes to cut/sew/make beautiful. But that’s cos you’re so fucking talented. (did i mention i’m also so egoistic with vodka and malibu in me?)
oh my slut wants to sleep and i have to put him to bed. tata.
I have to entertain myself for a few minutes. So i’m blogging. I’m in Johnson’s room. Drinking vodka and orange. With my bitch Mary. Mary’s on the phone. Dang, we’re out of orange juice….
Even though you got massively drunk just now. And said things like “my birthday is in Sebruary”…. (some strange cross between sept and february i suppose…) And called my friend Louis random names like ‘Brian’ and ‘Jacob’ and said he’s half Jew…. To which you then shouted something in German… And harrased the waiters at Cristros…. As well as all of us… And said you had hernia when you were born… And happily danced on the chair while Cristros played you a birthday song… And made me laugh till i cried for an hour… And pose for lame ads like so:
Happy birthday dear. Love lots. You’re fucking funny when you’re drunk. I’m bringing you out with me next time *evil thoughts of getting azwin drunk again*
ps: You are so damn chat lucky i didn’t have my cam with me…
* EyeObserve *
Taken with fully-manual camera, Minolta, b&w film, 52mm lens.
See Mary and Joyce. See Mary and Joyce run. See Mary and Joyce run because Byron got three shot glasses from the waiter.
See Daniel. See Daniel hide. See Daniel hide because everyone is trying to drink with him and he will be SO GONE.
See Louis. See Louis procrastinate. See Louis procrastinate because he said he wouldn’t drink after last night but all you have to say is “ARE YOU MAN OR NOT LOUIS!!?!” and off he went tonight.
See Nain. See Nain tipsy. See Nain tipsy and shaking his booty madly.
See Nick and Tim. See Nick and Tim are pretty sober. See Nick and Tim are pretty sober and making sarcastic comments.
See Aaron. See Aaron amazed. See Aaron amazed because his girlfriend is still sober on a Saturday night.
Mary: Joyce. Everyone and i are not used to seeing you run from alcohol. Are you okay? Me: I’m just trying not to get drunk okAyyyyy -_-
The funniest thing whole night… Mary and i were making our way out of Velvet when it was closing. She tripped. The bouncer asked her, “Are you okay?” to which she over-confidently and promptly retorts,
“Of couRSE i’m okAY! i CAN drink! LA! LA! LA!! LA!! LA!!…” *sings Smurfs song really loudly and bounds off*
Me: …
I tried calling MediumBen during the night. He didn’t pick up. But it’s okay. Cos this fairy has spies and photographers. I call this the recipe for…
Total Trashness
Ingredients: 3 jugs of beer 6 tequila shots 3 graveyards 1 flaming 1/2 around the world 1 birthday boy Lots of pestering friends
Instructions: Get all ingredients into one place. Next, ‘lots of pestering friends’ should force whip badger the 1 birthday boy to consume all of the above. Finally. Steer clear, folks.
Uh-oh… the beginning of The End.
This is where Step 3 comes in – STEER CLEAR Ooh…. can’t take it ey Ben!!!
Oh dear. What a bigmess for mediumben…
I know you’re superfuckingfreaking out while seeing this now Ben. Don’t kill me. In fact, take a chill pill for one hour before calling me k… NO! Don’t reach for the phone…. Trust me. TRUST ME.
Since its your birthday, Ben, i shall refer to you TODAY as what you always badgered us for! Today. You shall be LengchaiBen.
So happy birthday LengchaiBen! You’re 23 now. Wunnerfully old. Old Bear nyahaha…
Last night we celebrated Deb’s birthday in Karma. Jason and Louis were drinking together the whole night. The birthday girl passed out. Jason broke a glass, got in trouble with the bouncers and ended up being best friends with them. I was very angelic and didn’t get drunk.
Then we went to Rush. Yes i still hate Rush. It’s so dirty and crowded. BLEARGH But again. It’s the company that counts.
Then we went to Barcode. Where it was jolly crowded. I was looking at this guy cos he was so familiar. He was looking back at me. “Hey i think i met you before…” “Eh yea la…” “I think i was drunk tho.” “Yea me too!”
My friends are such liars when they’re high slash drunk. Jason came up to me outside Barcode and said “Hey i met your cousin.” “Who?” “Christopher Khoo.” “Who’s Christopher Khoo?!” “There, *points*…” I look. And see Nigel toddling about. I laugh damn fucking loud. “That’s not my cousin. That’s Aaron’s crazy friend! BWAHAHAHA!!!”
Not like Jason is so honest himself.
Louis and i were driving him to his car. I heard a small noise like ‘blwek’ I ask “Jason, did you puke?” “No.”
Later on, Louis had to look for something in the car. He walks towards us going “Who the fuck vomited in the back of my car!!!! Jason, is that your vomit?!!!” “No, not mine.”
So there is the mystery of the anonymous puke-r. Though really. Jason was the only one sitting at the back.
…
