Clowns ain’t all that scary

Just about an hour ago, i killed yet another cockroach using my ‘white liquid’ technique again.

Did you know clowns make quite a sum these days?
My friend, the clown you see above, does it cos he loves kids though.

I was trying to convince Kel  that he should be a clown to get girls.

1. It’s a unique profession.

2. The money ain’t that bad.

3. Girls will think you’re so sweet for making little children happy and want to have sex with you.

He ended up yelling (yes he yelled) at me:

“How on EARTH can you claim that clowns are sexy?!?!?”
“I didn’t say sexy… you’re not listening…”
*ignores me* “…You’re INSANE!!!!”

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Mercy Killing…. not.

Something happened today which reminded me of a hilarious event last week.
Remember that night i brought Ashley  and Louis  out, and they fought and argued?

Well.
Halfway, we saw two guys near our table exclaiming and making a fuss because one of those typical giant cockroaches were within 3 feet of their table.

Oh but brave were we and just looked away (it was pretty near us as well).

Suddenly.
We notice that someone has stepped on poor Mr. Cockroach’s head.
Leaving its squirming body and a squished head behind.

Obviously we weren’t going to do anything about it.
But no. Not Louis.
He was ranting and raving, “It’s in suffering! We have to kill it!”
And promptly got up from his seat and stalked towards the wiggling headless cockroach.

Strangers were staring cock at him and he gestured at them wildly going, “IT’S IN PAIN OKAY… i havE to kill it.” yes louis is insane sometimes

At that point, AshDave’n’Me were bellowing so loudly with laughter, i swear half the people in BL were looking at us. Louis than came back proclaiming that it was a mercy killing.

I said i believed in mercy killing…but wouldn’t give a damn about a cockroach.
In fact, i love killing cockroaches.

Today, My Slut was cooking me supper.

He saw a cockroack and ran away   -_-
Brave me went to kill it.

Okay, okay, ready? *rubs hands in fairyglee*

1. Spray insect repellent at the roach. Somehow, this will always get them to turn upside-down.

“How did you do it?” – Louis
“Oh yes… you wouldn’t know. You’re into mercy killing. Whereas i’m just into… killing.”
“… omg. How long did it suffer?”

The next day, i noticed that Louis has a fish.
A sick fish.
That lies down in the corner of its dirty plastic aquarium.

It lies down.

I’ve never in my life seen a fighting fish lie down in a corner. At some point, it gets up, swims to another corner, and collapses there as well.
-_-

“Hey Louis, your fish looks awful. Why don’t you kill it… har har…”
And he just stares at me like i suggested some superevildoing.
I mean. Wasn’t it him earlier that just said we should abide mercy killing?
 

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Party Pics

Ash asked me to be her date to the Dunhill thingy in Chinoz on Sat night.
Gourmet food and abundance of alcohol?

How could i say no!!?!

Barely 3 steps past the door, and i have a martini in my hand.
I spent the next few hours indulging in more martinis, wine, cocktails, salmon, caviar, prawn rolls, and other little bits of dessert. I forgot what they were.

Then i joined The Slut’s  posse. He always claims i don’t hang out with his friends and him…
-_-

And we were on this marvelous mission to chuck as much alcohol as poss down Zaidi.

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Fairy Pissiness

I was hired to take some photos at a function last night.
Initially, i was having fun cos there were lots of girls there working as well to talk to.

There was buffet and beer provided for us. But no wine.
I took a helium balloon, sucked in the helium and spoke in a high fairy voice.
“Joyce, i know you can’t get high on wine… but that’s not the way to go.” – Janet

I didn’t mind taking photos.
Heck, i love taking photos.
But fuck man, taking pictures of aunties give me headache sial.

They’re just supposed to step up, i take their picture against a backdrop and off they go.
But no.
Damn alotta ppl (mostly aunties) stand around there and yak and yak and yak and yak and yak and yak…
While other ppl are standing just next to them wondering why the hell won’t they move.

As for me, i damn muka maintain going, “Excuse me ‘mam…”
And they’re obviously deaf as well as dumb cos they don’t hear me.

In my head, i have a vision of Sakura’s (Naruto) evil side losing it while i’m thinking:

Move la

you

bloody

cow!

eaArgh. I hope i don’t become like that without realising it next time.
Tonight, I’m Ashley’s date.

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Meet my friend,

The Jewelery Designer.

  she made them all *proud*

 “fwower”

I was at Banana Leaf.
Such a mistake to bring Ashley  and Louis  out together i thought.
Both bickered.
Made sarcastic comments targeted at the other.
Insulted each other’s intelligence.
n o n s t o p .

Put a bitchy, witty, female smoker who can menjeling mata
and
an equally bitchy, stubborn, smart-mouthed male non-smoker who thinks smoking is stupid…
and you get….

Joyce putting her hands over her ears chanting, “Fairyland! Fairyland! Fairyland!”

“She’s trying to go into her ‘happy’ place.” – Dave

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