Joyce Gets Assistance

I’m up pretty early
And off to they gym
To move and sweat
And work out my limbs

Okay i don’t have time to think of rhyming now
Have to chow down some noodles and run off

I’m getting a PDA, Woooooo…!!!
Finally
Something to aid my horrendous memory
And busy schedule

HOORAH!!!

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Ashley Says Cock hahaha

AshleyTheMonkey  sent me this sms yesterday
She demonstrates on how to implement the use of the word ‘cock’ without any hint of sex whatsoever
I’ve been showing it to at least two people
So i thought ‘screw it’ and type it here
Alphabet for alphabet

Oh my fucking god! Lydia told teresa that she’s working in a singapore agency… as a super model… Earning 6000… For wat she work at celebrity… Cock.

Super model y’know! *big eyes and nods head*
Don’t play play… *wags finger*
*disappears from front of pc*

Sorry
Ouch
Fell on the floor laughing

I guess she had* to say Singapore cos people (like me) in kl would be SURE to find out her mouthcrap

TechnicolourWonder

Red and Yellow and Green and Brown and Scarlet and Black and Ochre and Peach and Ruby and Olive and Violet and Fawn and Lilac and Vogue and Chocolate and Mauve and Cream and Crimson and Silver and Rose and Lemon and Russet and Grey and Purple and White and Pink and Orange and Blue

I’m listening to the original cast recording of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat

I remember watching it in London when i was 10
Being awed that i was watching Jason Donovan  play the main character
He was my childhood crush when i was 6
No i’m not ashamed
He was hottiehothot in 1990

I was singing along to it wrong haha…
I went, “I look handsome, i look hot… oops”

It’s actually

I look handsome, I look smart
I am a walking work of art

Well smart back then would mean hot now anyway 🙂

I won’t even elaborate about the earthquake because i bet you’re hearing enough news as it is about it from CNN and the radio
It’s depressing
But everything has to go on
Force Of Nature Part 2 perhaps…

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It’s My Mom’s Birthday

My mother is a biology teacher in a girls’ school
She didn’t make me attend her school, thank god
Don’t think she’d appreciate other teachers telling her i cut their class or something tee hee

Anyway continuing my post, i intentionally put these pictures up since she’s in them as well
We were at one of the hotels earlier this year for my cousin’s birthday party
Richard was turning 11

I wore this long-sleeved white top
Thinking it’s decent for a family thinga ma jig
I remember i met up with PassedOutBen  after the brunch to go to KLCC

“Friend, what’s with the long-sleeved top?”
“Decent wut! Family thing.”
“Friend. It’s fucking transparent okay. I can see your bra.”
“Urm…. it’s long-sleeved…?”

Anyway

See there!
Woohoo…!
Family pics!

HaD* to put up a silly picture of Smalls  since she only has the same jack-ass pictures of her smiling and smiling and smiling on her blog

The kiddies were all playing games with the clown which was UTTERLY adorable
There’s just something about watching children laugh which is so unpretentiously pure

I studied them enviously contemplating whether or not to join them and sit cross-legged on the floor
Bloody Smalls kept on saying, “Go la! Go la!”
Reverse psychology sure as hell works

So i observed from my chair like a matured adult
Wishing dearly i was seven again

BWAGH!!!! SO CUTE!!!
*tries not to GRAB kid and run off home*

The clown made them all balloon animals and thingies as well
This tiny kid took up more space then licensed with his huge-ass balloon…

Michelle is six
Crazyadorable and intelligent and knows it
Puts it well to full use manipulating my cousins and i
I reckon she’s going to be a dangerous ho when she grows up

Look at that
She hugs all my cousins EXCEPT me

Okay, well she *does* give me a hug now and then
But she does this whole calling-my-name
and cuddling-up-to-everyone-except-me thing
while making sure i’m watching
Damn sengaja okay

Aww so cute how all the kiddies open their mouths wide as a fish to sing
Whereas we adults tend to mumblemumble our birthday songs through…

Anyway, back to my mom

She’s well-known for being fierce as fuck in her school
Everytime i go clubbing and meet some chick from Assunta
They give me shocked slash scared faces when they know who’s my mom

Let me give you a nice story

The girls were having some treasure hunt going on during school hours
One of the teachers must have noticed what type of shoes my mom was wearing that particular day and put it down as one of the things on the list of things to hunt for
I think it was A Blue Stiletto or something, my mom said

Well, my mom has LOADS of coloured stilettos
So slutty shoes run in my family 🙂

Anyway, something ran along the lines of: no girl dared go ask her for a shoe
A student finally went into the science lab to ask her for it

Not only did she get points for collecting that item

But she got extra points for Bravery as well

Goddamn.

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Immunity To Me

I was skipping across the road with Zaidi on Friday night from Zouk
Or so ProGermanAaron told me

“I was skipping?!”
“Yup you were skipping.”
“Who was i skipping with?!”
“Zaidi.”
“He was skipping too?”
“No… he was just layaning wei. You two were holding hands and he just walked.”
“BwaHAHAHA!”

“You damn chiowtut wei. You know what you said?”
“Uh oh …. what…”
“You said ‘Ashley’s favourite tree is fried chicken’ when we were going to pick her up.”
“What does that mean?”
“How i know!”

After being super-alco-ed out on Thursday and Friday
i actually didn’t feel like chucking large quantities of alcohol down myself last night

So i just took it easy
And danced a bit here and a bit there
In Poppy
Whose music was pretty crappy last night
Fucking hell slow
Plus i get emo seeing people dancing badly and NOT to the beat
ISH

Other than that i just got pointed out to me
That in the picture of me drinking just below
I’m holding two glasses…. whoa.
I didn’t even realise that

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