I'm writing this because this morning, i was sitting in a cinema (watching Justice League, it was AWESOME) and i felt a sudden surge of energy course through me. My eyes were locked on the screen, but i suddenly felt a strong distinct love for ALL the men in my life. My family, best friends, old friends, lovers, acquaintances, especially the men who have mostly been surrounding me in my life.
Since i was a child, i've always connected easily with guys, being somewhat of a tomboy. I'm accustomed to the situation of being the only girl in the group running around with a bunch of neighbourhood boys - climbing, running, playing street hockey, hurting ourselves in ways our mothers would abhor, then getting back up. As i grew older, i still found myself constantly in the company of only men at times - on party holidays where i'm the only girl running around with them, or guy get-togethers (of up to 30 guys once) where i'm the standout female. It felt special because despite being 'one of the boys', i'm still physically designed as a girl. My brain and body is built as one and it's undeniable that's how i* will function. I feel men confide in me in ways they may not do to the other women in their lives. Because of my strong masculine side, i am able to connect with them without judgement. They send me pictures of girls they're dating, come to me for relationship advice, and i learn more about their work methods & how they function. Men are seriously very different beings from women! They function in a completely different way, which infuriates women at times and we wanna strangle them or we just shake our heads - but they mean their best.
So there i was, sitting in the cinema, suddenly having these uncontrollable thoughts and emotions about the men closest to me in my life for a good 10 minutes - and i felt so much love for them, for all that they do, that i was almost in tears. Really..?! Crying while watching a show with my favourite Superman in it? I don't know what the fuq the Universe is doing to me sometimes. I can't choose when these FEELINGS come, and i'm kinda used to it now that i just sit with it and let it flow.
As i sat in solitude today, i couldn't help thinking about how much men DO for everyone. Then i started crying and i'm like here we go again, Feelings. And i felt this message coming through me in words in my head that i felt utterly compelled to pour out.
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I see you. I feel you. I hear you.
You work so hard, so very hard, to protect and provide for your family and loved ones with much ferocity and determination. Your efforts are not going unnoticed. We may not say it, the people around you may not say it, but we appreciate you so very much... the way you are built is nothing like the others around you.
I am so proud of you. You push and push and push.
And it feels like the world is pushing you back stronger than you can handle.
You break down sometimes. You hole yourself up. You brood. You distract yourself with hobbies and vices to balance out the intensity of what you're going through.
But it's all going to be okay.
You are absolutely fine, you're doing GREAT.
Everyone around you will be great, cos you are there to take care of them.
The reason you are given these experiences is because you were built to handle them. If you weren't, they wouldn't have appeared in your path. Understand that everything you are going through, no matter how tough it may seem at times, is making you even stronger.
Don't forget to take care of yourself too, tho i don't have to say it. I see that you know.
Stick to your guns, nobody knows how to run your life better than you (tho you recognise that women have sound pieces of advice + guidance + support which is why you love us so much) 😉
Allow yourself to feel emotions. Society has conditioned it as such that men *should not* show their feelings, like cry. But anger is not the way out. Negative actions are never the way out. I love it when you handle things calmly. I want you to give yourself permission to break down sometimes. You are only human. You must break down, in order to rebuild yourself to a stronger version of yourself. I think you know this deep inside cos you already feel yourself breaking. And it's okay to feel that. If you didn't, then you wouldn't be progressing.
Move, run, pump metal, plant, pray, cry, dance, paint, create, make.
Whatever your energy outlet is, make it one that is not concerned with work because you deserve a break from it.
Again, i want to reiterate the acknowledgment of how much you go through to love everyone around you.
I can't imagine it's easy, I feel your story/stories, and i don't know how i'd go through the same things you did!
You are strong.
I love you so much, we all love you so much.
Come and seek comfort from us, cos we will hold you and love you with hearts so fierce it will feel like it's crumbling from its intensity. That is our gift to you. And we know that is all you yearn - Love. Lay your heads on our shoulders, ask for a hug, let us hold your hand. Let us hold you back with as much ferocity as you already feel inside for Life and everything around you. We have so much we are already giving, and will continue, to give to each other.
You don't really need to prove anything more to us. It's actually yourself that you want to prove things to. And that is fine. That is the way you are built. We love you for exactly who and what you are, cos that makes you, you.
You are perfect.
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This post is dedicated to all the men who were, are and will be in my life (especially my father, brother and all my guy friends). I love you so much because i can feel you love me so much. You have so much love and ability in you, i see it. I see you.
Incidentally, today is International Men's Day! I knew it's some time in November, and just googled it to find out... it's TODAY. What a coincidence ey?
But then again, there's no such thing as coincidence.
I probably felt this way today cos i needed to write this, to tell you it.
I love you!