What’s Next?

Comments (0) Emo, Musings & Personal

I was so relieved for 2016 to be over.

I feel like this year was more of a struggle for me than previous ones…
A struggle to keep my emotions in check (why does being in your 30s feel like a crazier emotional rollercoaster?! Or is it not age but the overall energy of the planet? Or maybe this is all me… in my head)
Struggle to keep up with my adult bills and maintain my lifestyle (i want to earn more $ to do everything i want!)
Not finding enough time to do everything i want or need…

I’m looking forward oh so much to this year!

It just feels like a subtle slip of everything just happened
Could do with a stroke of clarity

I realise i’m bored…
And i keep on turning over in my mind, what next?

Sell my car and apartment and all my clothes and move to South America?
Continue a business in KL while moving to Bali instead?
Work less this year and backpack across Nepal and India?
Start a project interesting enough to keep me in KL?
And if we were to have children, have them right now or later after more exploration?
The family astrologer said we should wait, so wait it is.

I honestly. Don’t. Know. ย What i’m gonna do next.
Two friends the past week told me “Oh, all these ppl look up to you” and i’m like “are you joking… *i* don’t even know what i’m doing.”

I looked back at my pattern of work and realise that i get bored every 1-2 years. For a little while i was afraid i lacked focus, but no, i can concentrate on it for hours on end enjoying it as long as i’m left to my own devices.

I’m just bored andย agitated like a leopard that’s trapped in a cage.

I keep on wanting to move, get out, explore somewhere new.
I feel the need to be inspired.
I feel like i’m a squashed tiny bubble in a big bubble that really wants to float or fly to whatever is out there.

2017 is gonna be a year i come into more knowledge about myself…
and where i plan to put that power.

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