I had a self-revelation last week.
Not a massive one…
but something i always thought i would have known,
but temporarily forgot.
This thing about money.
I’ve been so stressed out of late…
and it’s all my own fault.
It’s all in my head.
I’m so tense that i sit up straight while driving (didn’t use to do that)
and wake up in a jolt of panic, wondering what i have to do that morning
cos usually i have things planned by the hour
so waking up slightly late would eff everything up.
I wasn’t and didn’t use to be like this.
So what has changed?
I evaluated my life in terms of relationship, career and priorities from a few years back and now…
and realised i’ve been planning so much for the future that i forgot to live in the now.
I just… have SO many things i want to do.
And i get carried away with how much other people my age may have.
A better car.
A bigger house.
A nicer kitchen.
That i forget how much *i* have.
And i’ve just been PUSHING and PUSHING myself to reach that level,
reach that goal.
Everytime i achieve something i set out for myself,
i quickly make a new one more extreme than the last.
Because i secretly feel that if i can’t succeed in it,
i’ve failed myself or didn’t do as much as i could have.
And… i totally forgot how to ENJOY THE MOMENT.
I forgot how to enjoy my work.
And love what i do.
And LOVE my day.
And EVERY day.
I’m glad i had some time to myself the past week to think to myself (cos Clem has been overseas)
and i’m not going to do this.
I’m not going to push for these 15-hour/17-hour days anymore.
I want a balance.
I want time for my family and friends.
I don’t want to rush all the time like i will die if i don’t finish everything.
So i’m going to cut down my workload.
I’m turning down jobs.
I don’t want to be one of these people who just work and work and forget about the small things in life.
The small things are what makes life so great.
And i must keep on reminding myself that.
Thanks for the reminder.. :’)
TotAlly agree v u.sometimes I will think about it and tell myself as well.sometimes in different stage of life our mindset and thinking will start to change.
I’m going to print the quote and stick it on my wall so I can see it everyday..
wow, awesome stuff joyce.
a very good reminder of that. i have been working that 15-17hrs thing and gotta take a break once in a while too.
and…i’m always a big fan of ur blog and ur personality! Dun stop what ur doing ๐
I totally feel you! And this can also be related to counting your blessings everyday, which i think i’ve come across a little note you wrote about it in the past. Keep it up Miss Fairy~
Oh Joyce. Didn’t we have this convo in Singapore. I’m glad you’ve finally seen the light and now I get my fun fairy back. wheeeeeeee.
thanks for this joyce, you just made my horrible day so much better.
Yup, earning $ isn’t everything, but there r other important things in our life. ๐ take care~
My fav msian blogger. Your insight is much in depth ๐ Pursue happiness!
I am guilty of that too, and that thought of slowing down has been lingering in my mind the past few days but I just can’t stand being not productive, knowing that if I push myself more I am capable of reaching greater heights too (yet drain myself out completely).
This speaks me too – “I donโt want to rush all the time like i will die if i donโt finish everything.”
In fact, I’ve just been thinking of leaving over the weekend to a beach alone, with my book and just DO NOTHING!
*tugs Joyce to slow down too*
๐
It took me a long while to realise that too …
Glad you found that place! ๐
p/s Hope you and Clem are wellllll!
My Dad always tells us that money is the most important thing but we cannot blame his opinion since it is very true (looking at the size of family he is supporting).
Once a while, I’ll remind him to chase his goals because the money will definitely keep rolling in.
And I’m so afraid that I’d be waking up to a society where money is everything; hence everyone will end up being selfish. Life is not supposed to be this way.
As cliche as positive thoughts sound, it is very true. Stay positive!
mmm lovely post joyce, it’s a nice reminder!