Of relationships and religion

Comments (13) Dating

I had a friend over recently,
cos she wanted to let out about some problems her man and her are going through.

Story i'm sure most of us have heard before:
Couple in love,
one is Muslim,
the other is Catholic,
one decides they should end it cos there is no future
(as both parties refuse to convert).

I'd say a problem like that sinks in more
when i'm talking to her for 3 hours
and knowing every detail of their relationship and its problem.

Clem came home from work while we were still chatting,
and tried not to blink an eye at the half-bottle of whiskey on the table
and tear-stained face next to his girlfriend.

In the end, he got asked his opinion on the matter as well,
so he sat down next to me with a beer in hand
and took over my Aunt Agony role.

After my friend left,
i was SUPER nice to him.
Heated up his dinner, brought him beer, water,
washed the seedless grapes i bought for his dessert,
agreed to watch Titanic with him (HAHAHA).

Him: "Why are you so nice to me today?!"
Me: "Whaddaya talking about? I'm ALWAYS nice to you -_-"
Him: "Yes, but you are EXTRA nice today!"
Me: "Well, i was thinking Mondays could be Nice-T0-Clem Days."
Him: "Aww"
Me: "And Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays are Nice-To-JOYCE DAYS!"
Him:  :xwhatevah:

Truth is, i guess i was being extra nice
cos i was appreciating the fact how we didn't have to fight about the topic of religion.
No doubt, we'll have other things to fight about in the future.

But for that night, i hugged him and quietly said, "I'm glad we don't have to worry about the religion part in our relationship."

13 Responses to Of relationships and religion

  1. minnie says:

    may i ask what advice u gave ur friend?thanks 🙂

  2. bubbles says:

    Hi Joyce, I am a silent reader in your blog all this while. This entry makes me wana leave a comment 😀

    I have a friend who is Chinese, and her ex-bf is a Muslim during uni time. Her parents practically kidnapped her from campus, lying to her that they were going for dinner, but actually they were bringing her back to hometown. We were lost contact for about a year (her parents took her hp and all). It was quite drastic.

    I am grateful that religion is not part of my relationship too. 🙂

  3. Clement says:

    I still believe that Mondays should be Hot-n-Sexy-Outfits Days… RRRrrrRRRrrr… It’s not incompatible with Nice-To-Clem Days, is it? =P

  4. Jehan says:

    My first real love was Catholic, I’m Malay. We had to end it too, it was hard but life is such. My current boyfriend isn’t Muslim either, but he’s great and it works. We just need to get a perfect fit, I suppose.

    On a side note, you are so pretty! Xxx

  5. Jessica Tan says:

    haha babe! at least u have this thing aside from the worries you’ll face. nevertheless, should any of us face this issue, it shouldn’t be a problem in the first place.

    race, n religion is just a segregation, we’re all ze same inside! 😀 but u know malaysia… if we fall in love w a muslim … we gotta.. convert *whistles* bah

  6. ShaolinTiger says:

    Yah it’s one of the hardest issues to overcome especially in a country like Malaysia where harmonious living is not allowed by law.

  7. DavidB says:

    The last few lines are so sweet. Cue romantic music.

  8. neen says:

    I’m in the same shit too, he’s wonderful and all but it’s gonna have to end. Would really love to know what advice did u give her and what she’s gonna do about it. Sigh..

  9. melmok says:

    what a coincidence, i had the same conversation with a friend who’s having the same problem last week.
    it’s a sad situation…

  10. JoyceTheFairy says:

    minnie + neen:

    well, i said that just try to continue on the relationship as long as possible… because SOME amazing time with the person, is better than nothing at all (imho). and sometimes… i think you never know, time and love changes things, i have a friend who converted for her now-husband after 5 years of being together. I think if you end it too fast too early, it’s giving up hope. I told her that: if you had one more month to live, who would you want to spend time with/hang out/watch tv/do stupid things with? that should be the answer to someone’s question when in regards to their relationship…

    bubbles: wah, super drastic right. that really sucks, whatmore she’s young so she can’t just run off or something cos of family 🙁

    clem: shush baby 🙂

    jehan: make it work as long as you can! good luck 🙂 (thanks for the compliment 😀 after reading it i was ‘awwww reallyyy!!’ and went to look at my own pictures to see from an outsider’s perspective haha. lame)

    jessica: exactly, ppl have to convert here. but you know how we place beliefs in religion/God the same as family, it’s hard for ppl to let go of things they’ve been brought up to believe their whole lives.

    ST: >.< david: haha thanks. saw you had fun in bali 😉 melmok: yeah, best we can do is be there as a friend... xxx

  11. tats26 says:

    Hey,I’m one of ur followers fr.the Philippines.Sad story.Is it proper to ask a guy on a first date abt his religion? just to avoid this problem.

  12. Fuzzy says:

    hi J,

    a lot has been said abt this, but heres my 2 sen on the matter….

    im assuming your friend is the catholic one. in Islam, if a muslim man wants to marry a non muslim woman, it is technically not compulsory for her to convert. in fact, the man is required and encouraged to respect and support her choice of religion(even if she chooses to be an atheist). conversion to Islam must be for one reason only, which is belief or faith in Allah. forceful conversion is unacceptable and neither should the conversion be done for love, money, power, etc…

    you can even find passages in the Qur’an supporting this.

    of course, no one really follows or understands everything thats written in the Qur’an, even those who claim to be experts(or in some cases, especially them….) but of course, ppl tend to be superficial on matters pertaining to religion, preffering to pick and choose only the elements of the faith that serve their own ends or limited understanding.

    it’s strange tho’… there was a time when religion wasnt such a big deal in this country and intermarriages were very common…

  13. nadia says:

    been there, done that. this problem is quite common right ? im glad i dont have religious issues in mine. hugs and prayers for ur friend.

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