Tuesday August 28, 2007

Comments (0) Emo

“It’s been really bad. She’s been taking coke which is so not her, just so she can forget about things.”
“I was on a coke binge today.”

“HA?!?!”

Damn loud. Cos he knows i’m an alkey and not a druggie.

“Yeah! I drank Coke for lunch, for tea, at the party, and even at supper!”
“… I think we’re on a different wavelength here -_- “

“The sky is blue…!”
“Yup *layan*”
“Wow!”
“…”
*flicks car lights on and off in succession*
“Hey, don’t do that, you might disturb the neighbours.”
“Look, it’s like how Scofield does it!”
“I think you’re watching too much Prisonbreak…”

*yakking away about fairies*
“Why do you believe in all this rubbish? It’s such a waste of time.”
“Well… i’m lap sap! So i’m rubbish too! Hahaha!!”
“Oh my gawd.”

*cap falls off head*
*picks up cap*
“I knew that dropped okay. I was going to leave it there…”
“Sure…”

+ + +

Some enlightenment on harrasment

I wrote about being sexually harassed by a guy. In truth, it wasn’t a guy. It was a girl.
Why didn’t i write straight up that it was a girl, someone asked.
I answered ‘because i don’t want people to discriminate against gays.’
And the same person opened my eyes to how i was being bias *towards* gays.
Because i was actually being more lenient towards the fact that she’s gay.

She asked to meet up for drinks and i thought, why not, i had a great conversation when i met her with ——– and i could spare a couple of hours.
It was 5:30 pm, PM okay, and i wanted to have coffee in Starbucks.
She insisted on having beer at QBa so i thought okay, meet up for a quick drink then i’ll dash off to see Odin for dinner.
She spoke about how she was troubled with life and i was trying to cheer her up.
Then she tried holding my hand. I pulled away.
“I’m sorry. But just letting you know heads up, i can be there as a friend to you, but nothing more.”
“Why?”
“Because i’m not interested.”
“You don’t like me?”
“No. I like you as a friend i can hang out with but that’s it.”

She kept on moving towards me on the couch and i kept on scooting away further.
After awhile it was just abit too much. She was trying to smell my hair, kiss my face and she managed to bite my neck before i pushed her away.
I decided it was time to leave.
As i walked towards the carpark, she asked to follow me for dinner.
I said no.
She asked why.
I said “You’re drunk.”
She answered, “No i’m not, i’ll behave myself, i promise. I won’t touch you. I won’t even look at you.”
I hesitated. I knew she just wanted company and yet, i didn’t want to dig myself into a hole of someone else’s shit.
So i said “Okay.”
Then she started trying to hold me around my waist.
I firmly said, “No. Stop it.”
“Why do you hate me?”
“Ohmygod…”
i muttered, “I don’t hate you. I just don’t want you touching me.”
“Are you disgusted by my touch?”

Sometimes i wonder how i manage to be so accommodating to people’s characters that i seriously throw myself into dumbass situations.

“You can’t follow me to dinner.”
“Why? You said i could just now!”
“Well, you’re not. You’re not sober. And you’re totally misbehaving.”
“Why are you doing this to me again?!”
” 0_o … what do you mean again?? This is the second time in my life i’ve met you!”

She paused. And realised that she *was* a tad drunk.

“Please. Don’t follow me to the car.”
“Why can’t i come with you?”
“Cos i just said so! What else do you want me to say? I already said cos you’re drunk plus you keep on touching me!”

I was going to lose it cos i didn’t know how to lose her.

“Could you at least send me back to my apartment? It’s just across the main road.”
“… okay fine.”

At my car, i walked to the driver’s side and instead of walking to the passenger’s side, she followed me.
“Er… you’re supposed to go to the other side yeah?”

Then she jump-hugged me, trying to neck me.
I pushed her off, jumped into my car, locked my door and drove off.
She leaned against the wall, watching me drive away.

Stupid Pyramid carpark is undergoing renovation and it was tricky finding the exit.
Dahlah late for dinner, kena sexually harassed, then now can’t even find the damn exit!
Kancheong okay. Like getting trapped in a bad dream.
I waved down a security guard to ask where the exit was and just so happened she was walking back into the shopping complex. He thought i was trying to call her and shouted for her, i was going “SHH!!! Bukan bukan!” My eyes widened and i shook my head to 180 bpm in panic.
Managed to get out in the end. No petrol, got on the wrong highway, lagi late for dinner, yeah, great.
Okay i’m laring topic. Back to the topic.

If i was younger, i might have actually tried to help her out. But as you grow up, you realise you can’t possibly help the whole world with their problems and drama. You give priority to the friends you’re close to and the others all come in second place, third and some, last i.e. none at all.

I told a friend about it. At first he laughed at me because it was amusing Story Of The Day to him.
Then he sounded me when she texted me ‘I miss you!’ and i didn’t want to reply.

“Why are you being so nice?”
“I guess cos… she’s a troubled soul.”
“HAHAHA!!! So because she’s a troubled soul, she can touch you and get away with it? Here, ‘Hi i’m a troubled soul!’ Grope, grope!” he gestured a grab at my chest.
“-_- No la…”
“Then? Tell me, if a guy did that to you, what would your reaction be?”
“I’d whack him. Slap him… a whole lot of stuff i’d do…”
“Exactly! So why does she get different treatment?”

I stoned. I didn’t even see it from that perspective!
How bloody bias is that?!

She texted me the next day – “I miss you!”
I replied – “I don’t!”
“It doesn’t matter but i do miss you alot. I’m sorry about what happened. Will i see you again?”
“At the rate you’re going, no. You sexually harassed me. What you did was totally unacceptable. It’s the same as if a man did that. How would you feel if a man sexually harassed you like that in public?”
She took some time to reply.
“I would feel disrespected if someone molests me in public. But, i didn’t mean it. You’re too beautiful… i couldn’t help it… i sincerely would like to apologise over what happened. I promise i will not insult myself by disrepecting you again. Please forgive me! Can i call you?”

I read it going, “Walau -_- So. Not. Getting. The. Point.”
Didn’t reply. Don’t know what to say already. Just going to ignore la.

So that was my Lesson of the Week.
To not be bias towards people just because they’re ‘troubled souls.’
I can still my friend’s laughter ringing in my head.
Yes, yes, i get it.


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