As my mom and i watched CNN last Friday,
i couldn’t help thinking that i’ve seen images like this before.
But in movies.
Mighty waters flowing over land,
washing everything in its path like little toys in a bathtub.
Houses, ships, cars.

Our life on earth is so fragile
and in the big picture,
a mere blink in the Universe’s time.

I hugged Clem last weekend,
thinking how lucky i am that we’re safe.
Safe safe safe in our apartment and far away from the catastrophes that are plaguing so many places in the world.

It does make me think more about my life and how i want to treat myself.
Just recently i’ve been pondering about my well-being.
How i want to live longer, as long as i can.
How i want to have children, and be old enough to see my children have children.

Isn’t it crazy?
I never thought so much about having children before,
and suddenly i have all these plans in my head about how i want my life to turn out.

Some friends have said that they don’t think they want to have children,
seeing how the world is right now,
and how the children would have to suffer.

I just think that if i were a child to be born in this world,
i’d rather be born and experience some happiness
than never have existed at all.

Suddenly life seems so long.
I’m almost done with my 20s, but i’ve got my 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond to think about.
When i get deep in thought about it, i sometimes panic terribly.
About what i’m going to do for work, for money, for happiness.
And then i snap out of it thinking, oh for god’s sake, stop it –
I have so much right now.

All i have to do is keep on moving, learning, and giving.
I feel like i haven’t found my calling in life yet…
And i’m still searching for it.
Hopefully, it’ll come / i’ll find it soon.

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