That’s what i was thinking as i sifted through piles of random items
that i’ve managed to arrange neatly (soddof) in my room.
I’m barely in my room (in my parents’ house) so it basically stocks my clothes, toys, art things, misc items from childhood/teenage years.

It’s got to a point i don’t know where what is,
so i thought ENOUGH i need to RID myself of these things and not be a hoarder like my grandmother.
I love hoarding things… in the hope that SOMEDAY i might SUDDENLY have an intense need for it.
Like a bundle of vintage cloth.
Or pieces of ribbon.
Or a stack of art paper.
Or pretty boxes that would hold a present beautifully (problem is when i’m wrapping a present i forget about those damn boxes).

It’s usually after i chuck it, when an occasion arises that i need it.
The Hoarding God has a way of mocking me, pointing its finger and going, “HA! You tried but it didn’t work out. Better luck next time.”

I’ve spent days removing books and bags and random items off a shelf,
so that i can move it against its perpendicular wall,
and have the back of the bed against the main wall instead.

While i was in the midst of chaos,
i stared at the furniture being moved around and thought,
“Wait. WHY am i moving the shelf away from there? It makes more sense for it to be against the long wall!”

And then i remembered.
Because my dad insisted my bed be against THAT long wall for feng shui purposes.

Apparently the current position of my bed is such that i will not have a lasting relationship.
*looks at ceiling*
Being somewhat into feng shui (be genetic default) and not seeing anything wrong with moving furniture around if it’ll increase the value of my life, i have obediently moved the shelf and bed (with MUCH difficulty and moaning on why there isn’t such a thing as paying someone to sort out your room’s stuff for you).

As i pushed the empty shelf into its place, i imagined a *TING!* like something new had clicked into action.
Like by pushing this piece of wood into another corner,
the clockwork of my life has shifted and is changing direction… to a better future!

I paused.
Nothing happened.

I think i was expecting the room to grow brighter,
or the sun to push through the storm clouds outside,
or something ANYTHING to signify this magnificent change.

I think i’m expecting too much from this feng shui thing.
Maybe it needs more time.
Maybe i’m too impatient.

Maybe i should stop blogging and continue cleaning up the mess upstairs.

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