Clem and i were talking about what we think about when we’re going thru an experience of pain or discomfort.
For example, when i’m at the dentist, i think about fairies flying about a forest and me looking up in wonderment at them.
Just typing that made me ponder whether this is TMI  >.<

The topic arose because i was telling him what i was trying to think about when i went thru an excruciating massage this week.

I have a terrible neck + shoulder pain that hit me when i woke up on Sunday morning.
Actually, terrible may not be enough to describe it.
WORST BACK PAIN OF MY LIFE is more like it!

I couldn’t sit properly.
I had to turn my whole body like a robot every time i wanted to look at something.
I looked retarded when i had to pick something up from a low table.
Being in the car while it drove over speed bumps hurt me.
I couldn’t sleep or lie down right.

I begged SpankyCammy to ensure that our massage appointment with KK was taking place on Monday night.
I had spent all of Monday holed up at home with the exception of making my way to the grocery store to make dinner.
I felt i had to try to move around a bit instead of not doing anything.
There’s this thought in my head that if i pretend i’m well, then maybe my body will think so too!

But that didn’t happen this time. 

So on Monday night, i drove StephTheVolcano and myself to Cam’s place.
Steph was high on codein ‘cos she has a wisdom tooth that’s causing her a lot of pain,
and she got a new pet pulp sac in her mouth we christened Bobby.
She was trying not to laugh cos it made her jaw hurt more,
and i was trying not to hurt myself with the shudders of my own laughter.

Fail.

When i saw KK, i couldn’t help going, “I’m so happy to see you!”
And was just anticipating getting my neck and back sorted out.

In the beginning, KK massaged my arm instead of my neck, which is what hurt,
but i didn’t question his expertise.
He revealed that he was massaging my arm because the muscle strings in there were connected to my shoulder and neck, and hence were pulling at it.
Weirdly enough, it did work!
I could physically feel my neck loosening up as he massaged my right arm!

Then he moved closer to the problem area and that’s when it really started to hurt.

I was trying to be one with the pain…
and just embrace it instead of trying to fight it and tensing up.

I’m one with the pain…
Yes… yessss i like pain…. *trying to psych self up*
The pain is good for me…
Damn it hurts!
Clem had better be bloody nice to me when i go home!
Home….
I want to go home now!
Okay food. Think about food.
Think about what you’re going to eat later…
Salmon with basil and mint…
Mmmm…
… GODDAMMIT it’s too painful!
I can’t take it!

Then i started crying 
Cos it was that painful

I could feel KK shifting the muscle strings and i KNEW it had to be done to correct it,
but BY GAWD  it hurt like someone was twisting a cube of metal inside my flesh.

I didn’t say anything cos i wanted him to continue and get it over with,
but i couldn’t help the tears streaming down my face and had to apologize for it.
“I’m so sorry i’m crying! I’m like a little kid,” i sniffled
He was really sweet though, and i could feel he felt sad i was in pain.

Anyway. After it was over and done with, i’m much better tho still sore and have to see him next week.
I can drive now, though a few hours of moving around makes me hurt at night.
People tapping me at the event last night made me wince silently.
So if you’re reading this please don’t touch me for the next 2 weeks.
Just call my name okay :p

Back to what i was talking about in the beginning of the post(!)
Clem was telling me i should think about My Little Ponies the next time i’m in pain.
Me: I think about fairies… or sex.
Clem: You could think about fairies having sex on My Little Ponies.
Me: ... … Thanks, thanks a lot! Now i can’t think of any of those things anymore!

What do YOU think about when you’re in pain?

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