While AshleyTheMonkey and i were having lunch this week,
she updated me on her wedding plans and costs.
After seeing her stress over her wedding for the past few months,
i’m seriously considering NEVER having a wedding.
Ever.
It doesn’t seem like something i’d ENJOY having.

“How much does your whole wedding cost?”
“Not counting the Chinese wedding dinner, –K. Expensive right!”
“Damn! *pauses for thought* I’d rather take the money and have a reallly nice holiday and forget about the wedding!”
“Hey. That’s the same amount you spent in UK okay -_-“
“… *silence/nothing to say*…“

I don’t know…
I know some people HAVE to have the wedding due to their families really wanting it,
and it’s tradition and stuff.
But since when have i been a person of tradition anyway.
I’m just thinking that if i had a lump sum of money put aside to celebrate me being together with someone,
i’d rather take a freaking long holiday with him (for like, 6 months!) rather than spend it on a big party and having to invite hundreds of people,
some of which i’m sure i’ve never seen in half my life.

I’d just… rather not.
Preference, you know?

If i was crazy freaking awesomely rich
then SURE
a massive wedding would be of no bother to me.
Wedding planner, Vera Wang dress, BRING IT.

But i’m not crazy freaking awesomely rich 
And to be more rational of sorts, i’d rather spend the cash on something we’d both enjoy than blow it on the sake of tradition.

Ah, i’ll just keep quiet for now.
For all i know in a few years time i’ll be EATING the words in this post by having some wedding or something.

So apart from the upcoming wedding and how we’re going to Nilai to source for fabric for bridesmaids’ dresses,
we suddenly started talking about children, and their education.

“I don’t feel like i’d want my children to go to school here… i don’t really fancy the education system here…” i said, thinking of the times i’d been pulled to the principal’s office and called “crazy” for blowing bubbles in the school or something equally harmless. “It’s like children here aren’t allowed to be creative and learn in a fun way.” I also thought about how i enjoyed learning so much more from reading science magazines/books i picked out and watching Nat Geo and the History channel.

We both spaced out for a while thinking about our future children’s education.

“Wow. I can’t believe we’re talking about this when we both don’t even have children yet.”
“I wonder what Kanch will be like if she had a kid, hahaha!”
“… *imagines*… i’d see her every week just to hear her bitch. It’d be freaking funny.”

Later that day, i thought about another girlfriend of mine,
who recently confided in me that she was trying to get pregnant.
“WHAT?!” I almost screamed in the pub. “You’re not even married!”

Seems like these days, marriage does not necessarily come before the baby, if at all.

0_o

Then later that night, Clem told me that he’d spoken to this grandmother on the phone that day.
She’d asked him about me, and when we’re going to have children ‘because she’s not going to live for that much longer and she’d like to see her great-grandchildren’.

I laughed to myself a bit maniacally then went to sleep.

That night i dreamt that Clem and i had a baby daughter. 

I woke up thinking WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT
SEE WHAT ALL THAT BABY TALK DID TO YOU

The thing was the dream was kinda nice.
Which was the scary part. -_-

Waking up and thinking about the reality of it,
having to put aside money to raise a child,
not being able to run off on holidays any time i want anymore,
and holy hell what if i fucked up and raised a demon,
is pretty damn scary.

That afternoon, as i was cheerfully hanging my colourful laundry from Tioman,
i overheard the neighbour’s kid daughter in the kitchen.
“Mommyyyy, could you please help me take the thing… please?”

Aww, so cute that she says please, i thought, i’d jolly well make sure that any future children of mine say their Ps and Qs!

*after 2 seconds*

“Why?! I said I WANT IT MOMMY! I WANT IT!!! I WANT IT NOW!!!!”

And just like that, my face went  while hanging my clothes,
while whatever thoughts transmitted by my biological clock were squashed.

For now anyway.

Related post:
My Biological Clock Lied To Me

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