I am currently recovering from Wonderfruit and couldn’t stop thinking about this connection i made… i made so many amazing connections there, but this one has been stuck in my mind since i returned.

A tinge of regret. A melancholy feeling. Joy i managed to encounter it nonetheless.
A mix.

I’m just writing to get it down before i forget…

It was the last night (Sunday) and my tribe and i were hanging out at ALT8 stage – the most colourful one with a lighthouse and rainbow flags strung all around.

We had a bench just outside the ring, where we put our bags and rested, and i’d play with my fairy wings in the open space further out. I took a break and stepped towards the bench where i noticed a guy sitting on it, smoking. I’d lost my only lighter by then so i asked him for some fire. I could barely see his face cos he had long hair, a long beard, and was wearing reflective blue-green sunglasses. As he passed the lighter to me, I bent at my waist to retrieve it, and he removed his glasses. We looked into each others’ eyes… and time stopped. We just kept looking, getting to know each other without saying a word.

Throughout Wonderfruit, i’ve had a few eye contact experiences with individuals – where you get to know each other really well cos you’re both staring into each others’ soul. By giving each other permission to do so, both parties lock gaze, and sift + reflect through a range of emotions as you hold eye contact. Some call it intense eye contact. I just call it eye contact.

With this guy, we didn’t say a word but naturally fell into holding eye contact. I was surprised when he removed his glasses, cos he was much younger than i’d guessed.

I will never forget that moment we spent just staring into each others’ eyes. There was a lot of cheekiness, beauty, depth, love… i almost started laughing at the end of it cos it was just such a HAPPY moment. We held gaze for so long that my arm which was initially stretched out to reach for his lighter, had rested by my side. So there i stood, still bent at the waist, both arms hanging by my side, still staring into each others’ eyes. I probably looked like an idiot but i didn’t care. I was oblivious to everyone and everything around us.

It was such a wonderful connection that i didn’t want it to stop. I wanted it to last as long as it could. If i had to describe what his eyes looked like, i would say it was a very twinkly version of Brad Pitt + Jude Law + someone/thing else i can’t place my finger on… that all accumulated to a version of himself.

We must have finally stopped looking after a minute or two, and i stood up. He stood up as well, and moved towards me with both arms reached out for a hug. I immediately stepped into it, and we embraced in absolute comfort. It was one of the nicest hugs i had all week! I felt at peace. I felt like i didn’t have to go anywhere. I felt like we had merged into a nice little ball of energy. I had this fleeting thought, “I found you!”

After we let go, he said, “I’m James.”
And i said, “I’m Joyce.”

He was dressed in dark green cloths that matched, and looked like a forest vigilante.
I was in my colourful rainbow top and slip with fairy wings billowing behind me.

Then two of my friends came to talk to me, and i saw him waiting behind them.
I met James’ friend Mark, and we all said that we’d meet at Solar Stage. They left first. I decided to return to the tent with Marcus to take a break from all the people for awhile. When i went back to the last stage for the day, i didn’t find James again.

Part of me wishes i didn’t get separated from him, so we could have continued staring into each others’ eyes all night.
Part of me thinks maybe it was meant to be – that we were just allowed that moment for now.
I feel we have so many soulmates, wandering in and out of our lives and lifetimes.
Maybe we were lucky enough to have that one moment, and possibly meet again in the future. Another lifetime.

I will never forget that moment i felt – it was so beautiful and lovely.
It felt like i found something i had lost, but then i had to let it go again, in the same gentleness that i had discovered it.

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