I haven’t been blogging about myself as much as i think i do i.e. blogging about things i THINK and things i talk to people and friends about when i’m out. Maybe it’s cos i feel like i have all this branded content queued up, some of which are friends’ businesses i want to support badly, but i’m gonna try my BEST to keep it real and blog about what’s going on in my head okay!

I have a crazy week which started today. Ok that’s not entirely true, i think my week started yesterday cos i had a work event on Sunday at 11am, and then a shoot at 3pm in Ampang. This Monday to Friday is so packed that i organized my week last Friday in the fear (fear is bad, go away fear!) that i wouldn’t be able to accomplish everything that’s on my plate. So i’m quite organised… or i’m trying my best to be. You should have seen me a five years ago = a disorganized MESS.

Now i write down every single thing i have to do from work stuff (blog jobs, visits to suppliers, shoots, meetings, events) to fun stuff (what days i can cook for Clem, which nights i meet up with my girls), and even mundane stuff (buy softener for laundry, pick up altered clothes at Sacoor, buy shaving foam and new books for Clem). JUST SO I DON’T FORGET ANYTHING.

Yesterday i forgot something… just because i didn’t write it down! I was going for a Darlie event, and the SharkSavers.org shoot after required me to wear a block colour with no patterns. I have SO MANY patterns in my wardrobe that choosing one block piece i felt like for the day took 10 minutes (i usually take 1 minute to decide what to wear). Decided on red. Drove out. And in the traffic, saw Sazzy’s instagram and wondered why she and Ringo were wearing white… and thought, “Oh shit.” Called Sue Ann from Nuffnang and discovered i wore the WRONG colour. Patah balik. Changed. Went out again -_-

So yeah. This is why i have to write everything down.
Else i cannot make it in life. *hugs moleskine*

Ok so since i’ve been so busy and have so many things going on in my head, it’s really easy to stress out.
My friends know.
There have been some random days i’ve expressed how stressed i am and ended up tearing (such a girl, sorry, no wait, i won’t apologise! it’s good to cry!). But in the end, this is all me. This is all my doing, all in my head. I’m responsible for how i act and how i feel. So i just have to learn how to control my actions and thoughts better. Oh man, it’s not easy. I’ve been trying this whole positive and conscious thing since last year, and it’s such an irony that the MORE you learn about philosophy and how you go about managing your life, the more the bad evil negative thoughts permeate and cloud my vision.

Recently i’ve been practicing being in the moment.
I mean, i’m sure lots of you have heard about ‘being in the now’, ‘being in the moment’, ‘live the present, not the future or the past’ etc. It’s easy to know it, but another to practice it! I feel i did it more NATURALLY when i was younger -_- (Thanks for stepping in, Maturity and Wisdom.)

So i was thinking to myself this morning, since i already have SCHEDULED out my entire week to the hour, i don’t have to think and worry about what i’m going to do NEXT cos i already know. All i have to do is concentrate on what i was doing in that precise minute and hour.

For instance, i had to steam iron clothes for orders that went out this morning (erm one-woman show right now remember) and i think that if this was last year, i’d be stressing and sweating and cursing while ironing it and thinking “goddammit! why do i have to iron this!?” But because i know this is my TIME to do it, i, well, kinda reveled in it, and thought instead of how happy i was to get these orders, thinking about how i love my customers, and how great that i could steam iron CLOTHES (COME ON, it’s your favourite thing Joyce!) instead of poring over paperwork i hated (read: ex-jobs).

Then from there, i decided that today, i’m gonna be as NICE as i can to EVERYONE. Which meant all the strangers i came across, cos today was dedicated to work errands so i was seeing noone i knew.

I want to note it down cos i want you to SEE how simple it can be just to be NICE and SMILE.

– i smiled and waved at the guard when i left, and he smiled a big grin back which got me all fuzzy
– i got to the post office and smiled at the cashier, and he asked me how come i didn’t come for a long time. I didn’t even think he remembered me! 😀
– i smiled at this little old Malay lady selling stuff cos i was having trouble finding a printer’s office, and as opposed to how she might have reacted to a girl with tattoos and a short haircut, she smiled right back and helped me out
– i smiled at the Burmese waiters who served me lunch and said “Jay zu ding ba de!” (“Thank you” in Burmese) and the nearby waiters laughed and called me clever in Malay. That was funny. I walked out laughing with them and to myself.
– i smiled at my regular money changer who’s just across the ATM machine when i went to withdraw money and he waved at me.
– smiled at my butcher and chatted to him (but i always smile at my butcher… a butcher is someone you should always have a good relationship with!)
– i smiled at the cashier in the supermarket when i went to do the week’s groceries, and i overheard her telling another cashier in Malay that i was really pretty (and i was like whatttt cos i wasn’t wearing a scrap of make up today) but i still managed to turn around with my cart and smile back again and say THANKS!

Then when i got home and had to do the more serious work, i felt so… ENERGIZED cos i already made so much positive contact with people just by SMILING.

Amazing.

I already do half the things i mentioned above on a regular basis, but i pushed it a bit more today by smiling at people i don’t usually bother to. And i swear, it’s like because i believed in my own positivity glowing out, in reality it bounced right back at me and gave ME the strength i needed to get on with my day as BEST i could.

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