I always thought women exaggerated the extent of PMS when i was younger. How was this possible? *I* didn’t get it! It must be rubbish and an excuse for terrible behaviour and attitude. This naive opinion went hand-in-hand with my disdain and disinterest for period cramps cos i never got any. In the past, i’d never think of admitting that PMS exists. I saw it as a sign of weakness in women.

I must have jinxed myself. Cos just recently since i was 28, i’ve been getting the most terrible cramps and PMS. Today was one of those days i just hate life, everybody and myself. I hate work. I hate all my clients. I hate Clem. I hate me. I had a sudden thought of committing suicide. It’s crazy!

Clem would be talking to me nonchalantly and i’ll be sitting there silently thinking “WHAT a stupid thing to say. UGH i hate you!” Then i’d catch myself after and think HOW COULD I THINK THAT!? Then work piled on from different directions for every thing that i chose to delve into, and i had a sudden breakdown on the rooftop of my office. Luckily only one colleague was there to witness the horror that lasted 20 seconds.

I decided to blame it all on my hormones. And stuck my head back into where i usually belong – i’m happy! i CHOOSE to do all of this cos it makes me happy and i WANT IT! It’s just my FUCKING hormones that have got me emo/teary/stressed/angry about EVERYTHING. ANYTHING is to BLAME in my books! It’s true how they say men have to tread carefully around women during this time of the month. And i PITY them!

The good thing is that today is Clem’s birthday so i had to be extra conscious to be nice. I cooked him a birthday dinner while having shiraz. And it helped a lot. It also got me to thinking what a JOKE the universe had in store.

The reason why women have PMS, is because the body is preparing the hormone progesterone when it prepares to have a baby every month. This accounts for half of the month for some women. Does this mean some women have spent HALF their LIVES being on some UNHAPPY PILL?!

DAMN.

DAMN THE MAN.

Why couldn’t the Universe come up with a hormone that caused giddy happiness and euphoria; instead of bloating and water retention, mood swings, irritability, anxiety, tiredness, tension, crying spells, depression, breast tenderness, acne, headaches, diarrhoea, and dizziness?

Just writing that got me ANGRY! (As you can tell, i’m due to have the painters in tomorrow)

The positive side of me stepped in momentarily – there MUST be a reason why we were made this way. And the only reason i could think of, of why the Universe made us so insane to throw off men, is because only the men who truly love us could withstand us when we’re like this. Maybe it’s just nature’s way for women to find the right man. (Okay. even as i wrote that i realized how far i’m going with this. I’m going to stop now.)

More of nature’s facts for you: Problems before just your period – tender breasts, achy back, heavy legs – are usually caused by estrogen attracting fluid, and salt imbalance causing sensitivity. There are weirder ones – stabbing inside your hip bones when you sneeze? Your ligaments stretching? Electric shocks in your breasts? Excess fluid may be pressing on a nerve. Killer aches on once side of your tummy mid-month? “Some women can tell which side they ovulate from,” says a Dr called Marion Gluck.

Dr Ashley Grossman, professor of endocrinology (say what?!) at the University of Oxford, explains irritable bowel syndrome, “Progesterone is a muscle relaxant. In pregnancy, it relaxes the womb. However, some women are very sensitive to it, and it can have a similar effect on the bowel causing constipation.”

“Progesterone in the second half of the cycle affects the brain, as it’s a steroid, and most women experience mood changes like crying and irritability.”

So just wanted to say: we’re not crazy! Just BLAME IT ON THE HORMONES! (And try not to commit suicide.)

And to the men: YOU SHOULD BE SO LUCKY you don’t have to go through this! We don’t mean to be psycho and when it happens, just ponder for a while when her period is due and maybe, just maybe, you could find some kindness in you to forgive us instantaneously.

[source:: Glamour UK]

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