Wednesday = Family Day
So is Tues, Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun…
My aunt wanted to use the bathroom in my house.
“ooh… let’s see how tidy your room is then!” *trots upstairs*
“erm… er…” oh shit
….
“ohmYgoD! This is AWFUL Joyce!” argh. knew that was coming..
“You should have seen it 2 weeks ago. It was worse.” Thanks dad.
“eargH… all this rubbish!” what rubbish…?
“yeah i know, a real eco-disaster isn’t it.” My dad is an environmentalist. Hence the term.
“Oi!” this is an unfair alliance…
*silence for awhile*
“This is Nick’s room”
Why, this is alright!” growl
I had an excellent chinese lunch with my family at The Magic Wok.
FuYO… i don’t usually eat an extravagant lunch.
It’s usually dinner.
I *had* to be the one to direct my grandmother and her friend to the restaurant.
Imagine me.
In the car.
With two old ladies who speak only chinese.
And *i* can’t.
Torture…………………….
The plan was for them to follow my dad’s car.
They chatted so much (you know la, aunties) the aunty drove into a housing area.
“no! nO! wrong way!”
“chichichachasomethingsomethinginchinese”
“erm argh this way this way”
I start gesturing like a poking monkey.
I used my hands to point out the directions while they bitched in front of me how terrible and shameful it was that i couldn’t speak cantonese.
I can understand them enough to know that!
Plus my suspicions were lagi confirmed when my grannie turned to me in the backseat and said
“kwai mui”
Ok thaT i understand.
My dad called to ask where we were.
I said we were looking for parking.
The aunty was looking for a space too far from the restaurant.
I didn’t know how to tell her she shouldn’t park there.
She drove so slow in the wrong place i was going to scream.
The aunty missed the turning to the carpark.
She then proceeded to reverse, also succeeding in putting my heart into overdrive.
There was a car behind us, see.
*Stress*
My dad called again.
I picked up and went, “arGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”
“why?”
“you should have asked someone who can speak chinese instead of mE!”
The lunch was great… made me forget my ordeal.
Almost.
Heya Joyce…it’s Faith here!!
Hahaha…you know what, I SOOO know how you felt in that car!! Like you, I’m a “banana” too and it’s so fucking annoying when people look at you weirdly and give you the whole “so disgraceful, chinese but can’t speak chinese, where can laidat” lecture. Bloody hell man, you’d think it’s a fucking crime or something eh?! Yeah and then they’d bitch in chinese about your apparent “disability” in front of you, without realizing that we’re not all that clueless, and do understand when they’re saying something like “kwai mui”.
Geez. Anyway let’s get a glass of Malibu each and CHEERS to being a banana!!
nyek nyek nyek nyek ;p
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what happens when you’re chindian on the outside and can neither speak chinese or indian?! i feel so culturally lost. fook me. i speak only english and tidbits of malay. obviously, words like ‘tiu’, ‘machibai’ and other derogatory terms have the ability to spew forth from my mouth with such ease it’s mind-numbing.
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